WOW! I can't believe that it has already been one year since this precious child came into my life. I remember the day he was born, the excitement that led up to seeing his face. I wondered who he would look like, how big he would be (cause y'all know I grow 'em big), and if he would be healthy. The moments that followed his birth were so sweet as everyone cooed and talked about how beautiful he was. I laid there on the operating table doing everything I could to catch a quick glimpse of him. I began to hear talk about respiratory rates and that his were extremely high, I got a quick glimpse of him and a quick kiss and he and Ric were gone to recovery. About 30 minutes later they rolled me into recovery where I saw a slightly worried Ric. If anyone knows Ric, you know he doesn't worry....ever!! I could hear them talking about NICU and respiratory therapists and I panicked and honestly don't remember all of it. I had a chance to feed him for about 5 minutes and he was gone to the NICU....what, my baby could be sick.....what is going on? My heart raced, my eyes cried, and my heart was literally breaking inside my chest. No bonding, no loving, no pictures........nothing. He spent about 5 or 6 hours in the NICU as they tried to monitor his rates and figure out what was going on. Our families...especially grandmas.....fretted with me...we know how us ladies over react:). I think Ric had them slip me some good stuff because I remember through all my worrying and fretting...I fell asleep. When I awoke later they told me that they would soon be bringing Jesse to me and I just silently prayed and asked my God to take care of his little body...and I thanked Him for his sweet life. I had tried so desperately to get pregnant with Jesse....even though it was only seven months and I know most women try much longer, it seemed like the longest road to me. Then we he was finally here, to think that he might not be okay was scary to say the least. He came back to me that evening wrapped in the sweetest blanket that some sweet person had made for NICU babies (He still sleeps with this blanket today). I prayed over his sweet body, his lungs so that they would get under control..and I gave that little boy to the Lord.I pray that God does big things with all of my children. That God would save them at a young age and use them. I want them to be a light in this ever so dark world. I want to see Jesse...the little boy that fought so hard to breathe....to be used of God to share the Breath of Life with a lost and dying world. That is my prayer as this sweet boy turns one.I am beyond blessed. I know that many babies that visit the NICU never come out. That some mommies never get to even see their babies breathe. That some people never even get to have one baby, much less be blessed with four. For that I will ever thank my Father in Heaven that he saw fit for me to raise these children. I pray that I would do it in a way that would honor Him above all else.
I don't care if they are athletic, top of their class, popular, prettiest......none of those things truly matter. What I want them to be is children with a heart for God, that sees a lost world, and will go to all lengths to tell people about Jesus.
Happy Birthday Little Man Jesse.....
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