Wednesday, June 23, 2010

You're Beautiful….

I just finished teaching one of my purity lessons to our teenagers this morning, and at one point was a blubbering mess. Isn't it funny how God brings these emotions up! Today I talked to the girls about knowing who they are in Christ and not following into the world's lie that we have to look a certain way. As I was teaching, a memory was brought back to me about my sweet little seven year old girl and what we went through with her as a newborn. I shared this with the girls….and then I cried.

When Addie was a baby we noticed she was having what looked to us as seizures. I had been extremely sick when I was pregnant with Addie…my fever raged over 105 degrees for 5 days…I was sent into early labor…severely dehydrated, and I thought my fever had caused her to have the issues that she was dealing with. We took her to her doctor…videotaped her…and set out to see a Neurologist.

The memory was from the waiting room at the doctors office. I was holding Addie…feeding her a bottle…and I looked up and saw the children sitting around me. Children that were so precious…adorable…laughing….but children that had some major neurological issues. I remember praying in my heart…Lord, prepare me if this is the path I'm going down…help me be the best mom I can be to this special little girl. I thought that I may have to mother a child with special needs….and I wanted to be ready for that. We were seen by the doctor where she watched out tape of Addie in the midst of her seizure and then we were sent over to the Children's Hospital to have her observed in a room. She had like 50 probes placed on her head and they constantly tracked her brain waves and motions to see what was going on….they believed she had what is called Benign Neonatal Sleep Myoclonus…which meant that she was having seizures in her sleep because her nervous system was really immature…and that she would grow out of it.

We went home the next day and waited for results. My mom called and heard the panic in my voice…the fear…the uncertainty and she shared a song with me to remind me of how special we each are. How beautiful we are…no matter what our appearance is…no matter if we have a disability…no matter what we weigh…no matter what!!!! Here is that song…and to this day it makes me cry…and as I shared it with my girls today, I hope they got it! I hope they get that Satan lies to them….that they don't have to look a certain way…be a certain weight…wear their hair like the "cool" girls do. I shared with them this verse "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well" Psalm 139:14, and I hope they see how special they are…how wonderfully made they are…no matter what the world says!

Addie today, seven years later, is a healthy energetic little girl. Full of life, love, and all things grand. She grew out of her seizures…just like the doctors said she would and I praise the Lord for that. I also praise God for teaching me that day in that crowded waiting room a grand lesson….because the reality of it is…I would love her even if she hadn't grown out of the seizures….even if she was wheel chair bound and needed my care around the clock, because she's mine and she's beautiful in every way! Just as I love my little girl no matter what…how great is it that my God loves me…no matter what I look like…no matter what I have done….because to Him…I'm beautiful!


Meg said...

Big splashy tears rolling down my face...

Jules said...

What a beautiful are truly blessed.